|
RUNNING
AWAY IN AMERICA
By Allen P. Cardoza, CPI
westshield@att.net
Allen P. Cardoza is president of West
Shield Adolescent Services and owner of West Shield Investigations.
For more information or resources call him in the United States
at 714-898-9696, or visit website: www.westshield.com.
When Paul was 14-years old, he promised
his parents that he would stop "cutting" school
and taking illegal drugs after he was caught doing both. Boarding
school would be the consequence if it happened again. Three
days later, Paul was caught with cigarettes. Before his parents
were able to punish him, he stole the family car and ran away
for five days. He was robbed and beaten. He smoked crack cocaine
for the first time and wrecked the family car, breaking three
ribs and his arm in two places. When asked why he ran away
he replied, "I was sure my parents were going to send
me away for having cigarettes."
The number of runaway youths in America has reached staggering
proportions. A national incident study authorized by the Department
of Justice estimated that over 450,000 teenagers ran away
in 1988. The US Government reports that in 1990 there were
approximately 1.3 million runaway and homeless youths on the
streets. All indications from the National Center for Missing
and Exploited Children are that the numbers have been increasing
each year since 1988 and are currently running much higher.
A 1996 study conducted by the National Network for Youth suggests
that approximately one million young people run away from
home each year. International studies show that nearly every
industrialized country struggles with many of the same issues
with runaway teens as that of the United States. How can we
reverse this trend? Communication.
We must raise our children from dependency to independence
while showing them how to collaborate as a group or family
without manipulation. Parents should see assertive challenges
to their authority as a signal to improve communication within
the family, acknowledge that their teen is attempting to become
more independent. Parents can help young people achieve independence
by establishing a more collaborative decision-making style.
AMERICAN HISTORY
Throughout history, adolescence has been a time to assert
oneself in a rebellious nature. Some adolescents learned to
accept the rule of the household, while others who did not
feel valued within the home environment sought recognition
elsewhere. The early American colonists openly took in thousands
of immigrant youths, most of whom were runaways from Europe.
These youths worked as servants, farm hands and apprentices.
When the colonists settled into a farm economy, their own
runaway children were regarded as a loss to the family's economy
because they had performed much-needed work for the family.
Unwilling to accept these losses, colonists soon began to
regard runaways as violators of the community's religious
morality1. Severe laws were enacted against running away in
the 17th and 18th century Commonwealth colonies and early
American states; thus keeping many teenagers closer to home
and dependent on the family farm or business2.
With the development of factories, expansion of the West
and railroads providing transportation to urban areas, young
people began running away in droves, taking Horace Greeley's3
advice and heading west to seek their fortunes. At one point
in the mid-19th century, a large portion of the work force
in factories was made up of teenagers used as cheap labor.
Nearly half of these children were believed to be runaways4.
Some of the products manufactured in the factories helped
to make teen labor less essential to the economy of rural
towns, bringing about a more tolerant attitude toward runaways.
As the turn of the 20th century approached, unionization
of the labor force reduced the need to employ anyone under
the age of 165. This put many runaway teenagers and unemployed
youths on the streets of cities, where they were soon regarded
as a menace to the community. With a sharp rise in juvenile
delinquency, child labor and compulsory education laws were
enacted, and the juvenile justice system was formed. This
severely restricted access to employment for minors.
In the early 1900's, child-guidance clinics opened to guide
and counsel youths, including runaways. At this time, the
juvenile justice system classified runaways as juvenile delinquents,
and the psychological community perceived running away as
a failure of the children to adopt the values of their parents.
The Rise of Youth Shelters
In the wake of the anti-war and civil rights movements, the
1960's brought another change in perception about runaways
for many people. Instead of juvenile delinquents, they were
young activists, "flower children" or "hippies."
This shift in perception and an increase in runaways living
on the streets created the need for runaway-youth shelters.
These shelters were formed in college towns and communities
where the movement was strongest. In 1967, the Huckleberry
House was founded in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco6.
Larry Beggs, a founder of the Huckleberry House, states that
664 runaways used the house the first year and eventually
approximately 50 percent returned home. In his book, Huckleberry's
For Runaways, Beggs states his belief that running away is
a desperate cry by a young person to have his or her feelings
honored.
Many counselors who worked with runaway youths of the late
1960's and into the 1970's had been runaways themselves or
part of the anti-establishment movement, making it easy for
them to place blame on the parents as the cause of the runaways'
problems.
In 1974 Congress passed the Runaway Youth Act. This legislation
de-criminalized running away and recommended that state and
local law enforcement no longer arrest or process runaways
through the juvenile justice system. This appeared to be a
reaction to a 1973 mass murder of runaway teenage boys in
the Houston, TX area. Elmer Wayne Henley and his accomplice
Dean Allan Corll, were convicted of murdering 27 boys. The
two would befriend, exploit and murder the boys after offering
shelter and a hiding place from authorities7.
Cases like Henley's and that of John Wayne Gacy, who was
convicted in 1979 for the sexual torture and murder of 30
young males, consistently gain national publicity. The fact
that approximately 5,000 runaway and homeless children die
each year from assault, illness and suicide unfortunately
doesn't receive comparable publicity. These figures are based
on findings from the National Runaway Switchboard, headquartered
in Chicago, IL.
Many runaways in the 1980s and 1990s have found surrogate
families in gangs and cults. It is particularly compelling
that they appear to be drawn to these groups by an atmosphere
of camaraderie and acceptance, while believing they can maintain
their independence. In reality, they usually have far less
independence and the camaraderie comes with a heavy price
tag, often in the form of exploitation.
Children have fabricated stories that adults bought into
without the slightest shred of corroborating evidence. On
the other side of the coin, assumptions have been made by
parents who threw a child out of the house for a theft that
was later determined to have been committed by a relative
who was above suspicion. The one common thread that runs through
nearly all the cases is a lack of communication. The single
greatest way to reduce the number of runaways is to improve
the communication within the family before the child runs
away.
Steps to Improve Communication Skills
The first step toward improving communication skills is to
improve one's listening skills. Parents need to listen first
and strive to understand. Children need to listen to what
is asked of them. For example: A parent says to his or her
son, "If you don't get your grades up from D's to B's
by this summer vacation, you're going to have to go to summer
school." The child could respond with, "I accept
that consequence, but if I do get my grades up to a B average,
can I extend my curfew from 10:00 p.m. to midnight for this
summer?" In this manner of communication, both sides
have the opportunity to feel good about the collaborative
decision. It is also easier for the teenager to accept the
consequence if he does not reach the goal.
Building Success
One tool that drastically reduces miscommunication is the
use of a family contract. Most families that stick with a
contract and update it as the children grow older find great
success and a much more loving environment at home. A successful
family contract should explain the responsibilities of the
parents, such as providing a safe home environment or encouraging
good assessment skills rather than trying to pick the children's
friends. It should explain the responsibilities of the children,
such as chores or learning the powerful communication tool
of keeping a "truth journal." Also include sections
on grades and allowance, as well as consequences for breech
of contract.
Parents need to keep in mind that no contract or amount of
communication is going to keep an adolescent from ever rebelling
against some form of authority, or experimenting with things
that may be harmful. Remember to:
- Explain to your children that no matter how much you
may disagree, dislike or disallow a behavior, you will always
love them.
- If they still need to get away from their home, ask them
to consider going to a friend or relative's house for a
cooling-down period.
- Make sure such a period is for a specific length of time
and there is a plan to sit down and talk when cooler heads
prevail.
Getting them off the streets
If an adolescent is already on the streets and appears to
be a danger to him or others, it is time to get help. Locating
runaways is a very specialized field of investigation. A runaway
teen doesn't normally leave a "paper trail" like
most adults. These investigations are probably as close as
one gets to the old "gum shoe" style of pounding
the pavement, showing pictures or following those you think
will be in contact with the subject. There are of course some
updated techniques like the use of "trap lines"
and computer "cookies" that modern technology has
given us to help locate where the subject is or where they
might be headed.
In most cases, just locating and getting the teen home is
not enough. If parents have their teen brought home without
a plan, the teen will probably go right back out the window
- if not the next night, the next conflict. Parents should
have a plan they think will work, and if it doesn't - depending
upon the issues at hand - they should contact a professional.
What to do next?
Psychiatrists, psychologists, educational consultants and
family counselors all specialize in working with at-risk youth.
Many of them work with or can refer to programs, hospitals,
or boarding schools that also specialize in this area. Parents
should not stop there. Understand that whatever type of program
your child may go through, they are still coming back home
to an environment that at some level contributed to the situation.
Ultimately, parents should work on their own communication
skills and plan more quality time with their children.
References
1.Gordon & Beyers, "Reaching
Troubled Youth: Runaways and Community Mental Health."
(DHHS Publication #ADM 81-955), (1981).
2. Liebertoff, "The Runaway Child in America: A Social
History." The Journal of Family Issues, vol.1, no.2,
pgs 151-164, (1980).
3. Greeley :Hints Toward Reform." New York: Harper
& Row (1850).
4. Hopkins, "Adolescence: The Transitional Years."
New York: Academic Press, (1983).
5. Bakan, "Adolescence in America: From Idea to Social
Fact.: Daedalus, vol. 100, pgs. 979-995 (Fall 1971).
6. Beggs, "Huckleberry's for Runaways." New York:Ballantine
(1969).
7. Mann, "An Endless Parade of Runaway Kids."
U.S. News and World Report, pg. 64 (1983, Jan 17th).
Copyright ©
2005, Woodbury Reports, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
(This article may not be reproduced without written approval
of the publisher.)
|
