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CHILDREN
ARE FROM HEAVEN
By John Gray, Ph.D.
NY:HarperCollins Pub.:1999
Reviewed by Lon
Woodbury
lon@woodbury.com
The
author of the best selling book, Men Are From Mars: Women Are
from Venus, in this book brings his insights into communication
to tackle the problems of parenting. Starting with the belief that "All
children are born innocent and good," he asserts that modern
children are different, that the old fear-based form of parenting
no longer works, and must be replaced by what he calls love-based
parenting. He attributes this to a change in the world's collective
consciousness during the 20th century and the increased self-understanding
that has evolved from the growth of Psychology and exploration of
psychological and emotional needs of people. The love-based parenting
he has in mind emphasizes five vital messages a child needs to hear
almost continuously: 1.) It's okay to be different. 2.) It's okay
to make mistakes. 3.) It's okay to express negative emotions. 4.)
It's okay to want more. 5.) It's okay to say no, but remember mom
and dad are the bosses. This is just to say that he believes children
respond better to positive rather than negative reinforcement, so
his program and the suggestions contained concentrates on rewarding,
not punishing, children and to foster their innate desire to please
their parents.
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