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The
Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters
By
Michael Gurian
2002: NY, Atria Books
Reviewed by Lon Woodbury
The Spokane,
Washington author has published several books on raising boys,
but as the father of two girls, he decided to also write about raising
girls. The result was this book, which draws on his personal experience
as well as the latest research on female biology, hormones, brain
development and the way they shape girls' interests, behavior, and
relationships.
Gurian coined the term "womanist," after his studies
led him to consider the feminist ideas of ignoring a girl’s basic nature,
as superficial and limiting. He defines the basic theories of Feminism
as: 1) "Human nature is not very important to girls' lives," 2)
Women do best when they are independent of men," 3) "Girls
are victims," and 4) “Girls' lives are dominated by gender stereotypes
that leave girls one-down and powerless." While he feels these
ideas might help provide insights that are useful in working with at-risk
girls, for typical girls, they are "often static and over reactive,
sometimes unfair, and generally incomplete in its assessment of human
nature." Citing research from the hard sciences, he says "girls'
lives are far more about the four-million-year human history than they
are about the few decades, or even centuries, of social life that feminism
helps us understand."
One of the most important aspects of girls, from a "womanist" perspective,
is a nature-based logic he describes as “the hidden yearning in every
girl's and woman's life to live in a safe web of intimate relationships…To
be a girl is to become a woman who hopes to feel that she is performing
a sacred, purposeful role in life," whether in the family or at
work. Stating it another way, he said: “a boy feels unhappy if he can't
perform at something.... his unhappiness is his cry for help in finding
areas of performance in which to gain social respect," while,
“a girl feels unhappy if she can't find the interwoven social alliances
she needs. Her unhappiness at not being chosen for the group, clique,
or pack is her cry for help in finding social mirrors for her own character
development."
The author describes how classic fairly tales reflect archetypal ideas,
evolving from stories told by our ancestors to their adolescent boys
and girls to prepare them in the values each should have as adults.
Cinderella is a story the author shunned as a feminist, seeing it as "a
patriarchal tale about the repression of women's individuality, the
imposition of dependency on men, and values antithetical to modern
women." However, when he saw that this tale was a favorite of
both his independently minded daughters, he re-examined it, finding:
“this story depicts the female journey into high character, and it
is a stunning rite-of-passage tale," reflecting that every girl
wants to be a heroine. And, though being a heroine can sometimes include
being a hero in the way that boys yearn to be, the author asserts being
a heroine often involves seeking "the wisdom of the small over
the flourish of the large." In general, a hero's empathy is based
on large group principles, while a heroine’s empathy is based on the
small suffering, shinning "the light of their character into hidden,
small places." Common sense seems to be balanced with modern research
in this book to offer practical balance in working with helping raise
girls.
The
Myth of Laziness
By
Mel Levine, M.D.
2003:Simon & Schulster
Reviewed by Lon Woodbury
Dr. Mel
Levine is a professor of pediatrics at the University of North
Carolina Medical School, and a very popular writer whose ideas
in previous books have influenced the programs of several quality
emotional growth/therapeutic schools and programs.
He is convinced that laziness is a myth; everybody has a basic drive
to be productive. He describes what some call “laziness", as: "output
failure," caused by some obstacle the alleged “lazy” person is
having trouble overcoming. In his view, the output failure is usually
some type of "neurodevelopmental dysfunction,” which, if treated,
causes the “laziness" to disappear. The book is full of examples
showing that what is considered to be “laziness,” is really something
with which a person is having so much difficulty that for whatever
reason, without intervention, the person doesn't have the ability to
accomplish the task. He identifies seven forms of dysfunction that
obstruct output, emphasizing writing as a key barometer of productivity
during the school years. He devotes an entire chapter in his book to
writing problems, because writing involves so many neurodevelopmental
functions, such as memory, motor control, organization, and verbalization
of ideas. The type of problems a child has with writing can give vital
clues for pinpointing the exact cause of "output failure."
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