| Opinions
& Essays -
Oct, 1994 Issue #30 |
DISCIPLINE VS. PUNISHMENT
(The following appeared recently
in the Coeur d'Alene Press, Coeur d'Alene, Idaho,
written by Kathy Wallenhaupt, the Kootenai County
home economist with the University of Idaho's Cooperative
Extension Service.)
There is a difference between
punishment and discipline. Discipline takes into consideration
the beauty of each person. Discipline shows the individual
what they have done wrong. It gives them ownership of the
problem. It gives them ways to solve the problems they have
created.
It leaves the dignity intact.
When individuals experience logical and realistic consequences,
they learn they have positive power in their lives. They can
make good decisions and solve problems.
Punishment, on the other hand,
is adult-oriented, requires judgment, imposes power from without
and invites conflict, anger and resentment.
Parents need to be there to listen,
support and offer options, not to judge. When disciplining
a child, give them a second chance when they blow it.
Make them responsible. Give them
chores and household duties.
Tell them a consequence that
is logical, realistic and palatable to you. Then when they
miss the mark, give them the opportunity to do the first responsibility
again AFTER they have experienced the consequences for blowing
it the first time.
Barbara Coloroso, nationally
acclaimed speaker of "Kids Are Worth It" has prepared some
advice to parents. According to her, there are six critical
life messages.
- I believe in you.
- I trust in you.
- I know you can handle it.
- You are listened to.
- You are cared for.
- You are very important to
me.
The best way people learn these
critical messages is in a family setting. School, church and
friends can supplement the messages, but they need to be repeated
on at least a daily basis.
Copyright
© 1994, Woodbury Reports, Inc. (This article may be reproduced
without prior approval if the copyright notice and proper
publication and author attribution accompanies the copy.)
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