| Opinion
& Essays
-
Jun, 1993 Issue #22 |
YOUTH AND VIOLENCE:
A Preventable Combination
Dan Davis, Ph.D., Clinical Director
Buckeye Boys Ranch
614-875-2371
(The following essay is being
re-printed from the Buckeye Boys Ranch's Winter 1993
newsletter CARING CONCEPTS. It is located in Grove City, Ohio,
614-875-2371)
Frequently, it appears that violence
is rampant in our society. Professionals who work with children
and youth face increasing challenges in helping families prevent
aggressive behavior. However, we must remember that we are
not powerless. Violence is preventable. There are simple,
basic things that each of us can do regularly to help prevent
violence.
BE A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that we adults
are role models. Children watch us constantly, learning not
by what we say, but by what we do. We must teach children
to talk about their feelings and to resolve conflicts nonviolently.
If we are not practicing these skills in everyday relationships,
then we can never expect our youth to do the same.
USE PRAISE HONESTLY AND OFTEN.
Adults should not only discourage violent behavior but reward
nonviolent problem resolution. "Catch them being good--nonviolent,"
and praise them. Even the seemingly most self-assured teenager
seeks out the attention and approval of adults. We can use
this fact of psychological development to encourage the development
of a nonviolent lifestyle.
CONTROL THE ENVIRONMENT.
Adults must control the media that surround children and youth.
Exposure to aggressive role models increases the likelihood
of aggressive behavior in children. Turn off television violence
and teach children to monitor the content of TV programs.
Listen carefully to the lyrics of popular music. Do not be
afraid to limit access, but be sure to explain your reasons.
AVOID CONFLICTS. Explain
acceptable ways to deal with anger. Teach youth that violence
is but one response to anger. Remember that anger can be a
helpful emotion. It is not anger that causes us problems;
instead, it is what we do with that anger that causes problems.
Children should be taught to neither act out violence in an
aggressive way nor to hold in their anger. Don't just tell
children how they should act; instead, give them skills, strategies,
and examples. Teach them that they are always in control of
how they respond. Things are often not as important as we
first believe them to be.
SET LIMITS. Be consistent
in discipline and remember that the purpose of discipline
is not to punish bad behavior but to teach positive skills.
Avoid the use of physical punishment which only gives license
to the child to respond aggressively to interpersonal situations.
HUMANIZE. Violence against
other persons happens most often when we do not see others
as equal to ourselves or deserving of respect. Actively combat
attitudes and values that promote racism, sexism and abuse
by exposing children to persons of other cultures and values.
Let them get to know others as different, not inferior.
TAKE TIME TO LISTEN. Listen
and try to learn the child's perspective. Listen for both
content and the emotion behind what the youngster is saying.
Allow youth to develop a sense of self-respect and individuality.
Encourage them to be independent, but, first, teach them interpersonal
skills and how to make wise decisions to live nonviolently.
DE-EMPHASIZE MATERIAL VALUES.
Teach children that things are never as important as people.
We are not powerless. There are many strategies that we, as
parents, counselors, and teachers, can implement to prevent
violence in our society and in the society of the future.
Copyright
© 1993, Woodbury Reports, Inc. (This article may be reproduced
without prior approval if the copyright notice and proper
publication and author attribution accompanies the copy.)
|
