| Opinion
& Essays - Jun, 1991 Issue |
Western Youth Network
(800) 328-1877
Larry Stednitz, Ph.D.
It is with sincere gratitude
and a pleasure to have the opportunity of introducing the Western Youth
Network to Lon Woodbury's Newsletter. Lon's effort over the past years
in many ways has been what the Western Youth Network is all about---working
with mildly and severely emotionally and behaviorally disordered youth.
The Western Youth Network has spent much time with parents whose hopes
and aspirations for their children have been all but dashed and obliterated.
A recent study by Joy Dryfoos
supported by the Carnegie Corporation of New York spells out the magnitude
of this problem. "Seven million youngsters---one in four adolescents---have
only limited potential to become productive adults because they are
at high risk of encountering serious problems at home, in school, or
in their communities." Four major problem areas were studied: delinquency,
substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and school failure. Her report concluded
that at least three million youth are prey to all four high risk patterns.
In addition, seven million are at "moderate risk because of light substance
abuse and early, unprotected sexual intercourse."
Parents and professionals
are often at a loss as to how to solve these problems. A recent talk
given to a group of professionals in Montana by an adoptive mother of
three disturbed children says it well.
"In my years of parenting
seriously disturbed children and talking with other parents, it has
become evident to me that many professionals to whom we turn to for
help do not have a clear sense of what this experience is for the parents.
Because they don't have that understanding, though some of them think
they do, they are ineffective. Professionals actually add to the parent's
burden. It is not for a lack of good intentions. I know that all the
professionals with whom I have had dealings, even those who have incurred
my wrath, have wanted to do a good job. My purpose today is to share
with you briefly some of my knowledge of what the experience is for
parents and to hopefully increase your awareness that there are many
adoptive and foster parents with disturbed children whose families are
not being well served."
She goes on to say, "We have
to become less attached to material things. They often are stolen or
broken or made to disappear forever. We have to learn to maintain some
semblance of self-esteem while living with children who reject our parenting
and who, despite our hard work make slow, often negligible progress."
"We have to learn to
withstand fairly significant pressure from society and to trust ourselves
even when that means opposing professionals."
"Few people understand
that parenting very disturbed children is immensely different than parenting
normal children."
"We have to try to live
graciously with and find common ground with children whose values absolutely
don't mesh with ours."
"We have to find ways
to combat isolation and loneliness. We have to increase our knowledge
base so that we have theoretical framework to help us make sense out
of what is happening."
"We have to find ways
of being available to our other children and to our spouses."
These excerpts from this mother's
speech is a core reason for the Western Youth Network's existence. Providing
assistance to families and professionals is a complex and ever-changing
process. The Western Youth Network's vision is to be able to provide
the appropriate program for every youth who is in need.
Copyright
© 1991, Woodbury Reports, Inc. (This article may be reproduced without
prior approval if the copyright notice and proper publication and author
attribution accompanies the copy.) |
