Dear Lon,
My husband Doug and I have have three wonderful sons, ages, 23, 20 and 18. The oldest went through Mr. Aaron Boldman's program "Future Men". Because we have had a long association with Aaron, I felt hearing about our experiance might be useful to you in your consulting business.
I was encouraged by your web page "Ten Common Mistakes Parents Make". Though every point you made about choosing a program for your child reminded me of our journey, I particularly identified with #7, "We can trust what professionals tell us". Although we worked for years with many local resources trying to help our son, we knew him best. Though they meant well, the psychologist looked at the problem through the lens of ADHD and learning disabilities, one set of grandparents thought he needed more discipline, one set thought he need less. A consulting firm provided me with a list of two schools, I researched several others myself. We then put all three boys in a van and traveled from Virginia, to New Mexico, to Illinois and then to Missouri evaluating programs.
Although our son showed some signs of ADHD and possible learning disorders, we felt that his most pressing issue was with anger, self-control, and repect of others. For us, these were problems best addressed by a residential program where Aaron worked at that time called Shelterwood, in Branson, Missouri. Shelterwood is a Chrisian residential program for families in crisis. They accept young people with various difficulties, from drug abuse, to behavioral issues, to psychological issues. As you know, many young people display a wide sprectrum of interwoven difficulties at this age. Their program had several components: a level program, a strong counseling component (for both parents and the child), outstanding role models (the young volunteers living with and directing the youth) and the school, which at the time was headed by Mr. Boldman.
Mr. Boldman's strength is in his great love and skill at building relationships with teens. His love for Christ and for them was evident to us from the time we first met. After 14 months our son graduated from Shelterwood. and entered Mr. Boldman's new residential program "Future Men". "Future Men" specializes in behavioral growth and skills training for young men. I believe it fills a gap left by many programs by helping young men develop a skill they can use to successfully support themselves, even if they are not college bound. The program is small enough to be quite flexible in the type of training they provide and very hands on with the young people. Some train as plumbers, contractors, mechanics or brick masons. Others, explore real estate or take classes at the local community college. If the young men need to complete high school they can do so. Every young man learns self con trol, respect for themselves and for others. Aaron and his wife and family live in a close, small family farm community with the boys. They are truly encorporated into thefamily. Much of what the boys learn, they simply catch by the patience, loving, consistant examples of Aaron, his wife and the staff. During his time in these two programs our son and Aaron formed a bond with lasts till this day.
This journey was not a short or an easy one, but today we have an incredible relationship of trust and love with our son. He has grown into an outstanding young man who loves his God, his country and his family.
He is a highly disciplined individual, who now believes he can meet most any challenge. After leaving Future Men he moved home and we have experienced the best years of our lives together. Last summer he graduated from Cape Fear Community College after completing two years as president of the student body. He was then accepted to the political science program at Chapel Hill where he has had a very successful year; next spring he will graduate Carolina with honors. This summer he is living his dream as he works in Washington, DC as a White House Intern.
The very difficult days of hopelessness and despair are far behind us now and my greatest joy comes when I can encourage those who are where we were eight years ago. We believe God intervened in our child's life by providing people like Aaron Boldman to help us at a most difficult time. As you say, no program is right for everyone, but the family who believes that true change begins in the heart of a child should explore "Future Men". Even in an email of this length, I can't begin to explain the many benefits we found in these two programs. If I can answer any further questions for you please let me know.
Sincerely,
Sabrina Clevinger
910-793-2391
sdclevinger@bellsouth.net
